By: Naomi Shaw
For brides whose personalities lean towards quiet-tempered and introverted, wedding planning quickly can become a daunting task that pushes them far from the comfort zone. Meeting with florists, cake shops, clergy and serving as the guest-of-honor at bridal showers with all eyes focused on the attention weary bride escalates feelings of anxiety and nervousness.
The stereotype of Bridezilla—the bride who must control every detail and wreaks havoc when the tiniest minutiae unravels—reveals itself differently and perhaps unfairly in the introverted bride. While not craving the devoted attention of everyone and everything in her path, the quiet bride does require a bit more reassurance and can appear aloof or controlling because of anxiety.
Quiet, shy brides who favor the wall to mingling freely must not let anxiety take over the fun and happiness of wedding planning. Instead, focus on how to use a reserved demeanor as a tool in planning the ceremony and reception. Understand the individual comfort level of crowds and plan accordingly.
Scheduling Meetings with Vendors
Brides who are overwhelmed with large-group meetings should meet with vendors one-on-one or tag-team with the groom or a family member to have a familiar face in the meeting.
Introverts may struggle to make their voices heard and to advocate for what they want. Nothing is more important in the wedding that ensuring that the big picture is understood. If a vendor makes a suggestion that isn’t congruent to the big picture, then speak up. Communication is the key.
Brides with difficulty in speaking their minds will find it quite helpful to go into a meeting with the plans and general idea already outlined. Research flowers and which types are most appealing or meaningful and know the color scheme of bridesmaids so bouquets may be planned to complement the dress color. For cakes, discuss with the groom about different flavors and go in for a taste test. Agree on a few options and create layers of different flavors to appeal to a variety of taste buds.
Meeting with the Clergy and Pre-Marital Classes
Some religions require premarital classes to discuss religious views and allow the couple to work out and understand expectations of the marriage. Some classes involve large groups, while others might be one-on-one with the pastor, priest or clergy. Brides who feel overwhelmed by groups may always ask for private classes.
Deciding on Numbers
Shy brides might cower at the idea of walking down an aisle with hundreds of guests staring at her as she makes a grand entrance. Hosting a massive crowd is by no means a marital requirement. Discuss with the groom how many guests feel comfortable. Too many might also overwhelm a tight budget.
Many brides decide to take their wedding virtual via social media channels. Hosting a smaller wedding and live-streaming the ceremony pulls in guests while keeping the attendance crowd small for spotlight-dodging brides.
Some couples also cut down the guest list and plan a destination wedding with only a few close relatives and friends. Tight-knit and tender ceremonies can offer the most romance.
Showering Attention
While large weddings instill nervousness for introverts, wedding showers with a flood of guests also can up the anxiety. Shy brides might find the experience stomach turning, as all eyes fall on hands unwrapping presents. Many brides have pulled paper apart, hands shaking, and shyly trying to hide the nerves.
Keep parties like showers to a small guest list. To make sure guests aren’t unfairly omitted, divide showers up between families and friends. Most brides have more than one shower, so creating separate lists for co-workers, friends and families is perfectly acceptable.
Introverts are not natural attention seekers. Their shy personalities often keep them from taking the spotlight. Never plan a wedding that creates too much pressure or anxiety. Wedding planning should be enjoyable, and the wedding should create lifelong memories. Not foster nightmares.
About the Author: Naomi Shaw is a full-time freelance writer who focuses on parenting, education, food, crafting and DIY, mompreneurship, writing, and anything family focused. This working mom is married with three children living in sunny Southern California.